Ever find yourself staring at the ceiling and thinking, "Did I just enter another dimension?" or "Why is my heartbeat sounding like a techno song?" You may be a tad higher than you expected. Fear not! This guide is your trusty sidekick, packed with humour and practical tips to help you coast back to normalcy without sounding the alarm bells. Let's dive into the often whimsical world of being too high and how to handle it without calling your mom, an ambulance, or a third-grade teacher.

Step 1: Acknowledge the High

First off, realize you're just high—like, really high. This isn't a new superpower, nor are you suddenly in an episode of "The Twilight Zone." You're experiencing a temporary state, thanks to our dear friend Mary Jane. Remember, no one has ever overdosed from cannabis alone—it would take something like smoking 20,000 joints in 15 minutes. If you've managed that, well, you're probably not reading this article (because you can't see through the smoke).

Step 2: Hydrate Like You're Crossing the Sahara

Water is your best friend right now. Not only does it help with the infamous cottonmouth, but it also helps to dilute your THC levels just a smidge. So, grab a glass, a bottle, or a hose—just start sipping. And hey, if plain old H2O doesn't jazz you up, why not try some lemonade? It's like a party in a cup, and guess what? Lemons contain limonene, which might balance out that THC overload.
Pro Tip: Avoid anything with caffeine or alcohol. You're not trying to turn this into a mixer.

Step 3: Snack Smart, Not Hard

It is time to raid the kitchen, but keep it sensible. We're talking about snacks that are the epitome of comfort without being a recipe for disaster (I'm looking at you, ghost pepper chips). Opt for:

• Ice Cream: It's cold, it's creamy, and it's hugging your insides.
• Cheetos: Nothing says 'chill' like orange fingers.
• Pizza: Because pizza is always the answer.
• Fruits: Get some natural sugars in your system, and hey, it makes you feel like you're being healthy.

Avoid cooking—no one needs a fire department showing up because you thought you could flambé.

Step 4: Engage Your Brain (Gently)

Turn on the TV or grab your tablet and watch something light and cheerful. The last thing you need is a horror movie or anything with complex plots or existential themes. Remember, you're trying to coast down, not spiral further.

• Good Choices Include:
• Cartoons: Something like The Amazing World of Gumball can be soothing.
• Nature Documentaries: There is nothing like David Attenborough's calming voice to assure you that the world is in order.

Avoid anything that requires brainpower or emotional investments. This is not the time for "Inception."

Step 5: Breathe and Reassure

Deep breathing can work wonders. Try some simple mindfulness exercises or guided meditations. There are many apps out there—pick one and get your zen on. Remind yourself repeatedly: "This is temporary." Because, guess what? It is.

Step 6: If All Else Fails, CBD to the Rescue

CBD, such as CBD flower, might be your knight in shining armour if you're struggling. Unlike THC, CBD doesn't get you high but can help soothe your nerves and reduce anxiety. Take a few drops of CBD oil or hit a CBD vape pen if you have it handy. Make sure it's not another THC-laden trap, though!

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Here's a quick list of what not to do:

• Don't drive. Just don't.
• No heavy machinery (this includes your all-in-one printer that also makes espresso).
• Resist the urge to spend all your money online.
• Don't call your ex. Seriously, now is not the time.

Final Thoughts

Getting too high can feel overwhelming, but it's mostly about riding it out safely and comfortably. With these tips, a little patience, and a good laugh at yourself, you'll be back on terra firma in no time. And next time, go a little easier on the green.